So Undeserving, and yet He loves me...

Hi my friends!! I'm going to attempt to have 2 blogs going...one is going to be more general (the newest one that I set up which is KayHeartbridgejourney, and then this one which is going to be a little more personal. I cant believe all the things that have been happening lately. They have been really difficult and yet at the same time I have been opening my eyes more to the fact that God is blessing me way more than I deserve. My day yesterday was really crazy..finally got my shots results and they came out negative which I'm so thankful for! And then straight after that spent the afternoon shopping trying to find dresses for when I go to Israel and South Africa,,,which I needed more dresses anyway ha. :P I'm just so blessed though because this shopping trip was one that I didnt think I was going to be able to do since it was more of something that I wanted/needed and could do with out if I had to. Well...I was blessed that my youngest sister (she's 12 now so crazy how time flies!) wanted to come with me so thankfully I wasn't by myself. :P And yet it was kind of hectic because I kept getting lost and then there was one store where I found absolutely nothing so that was a little frustrating and a waste of time...until I realized that I could have the chance to learn patience in it. The store that I found the most at was a lot of fun until I got yelled at by one of the workers there over a small misunderstanding. That almost ruined my afternoon until I realized that the devil was maybe using that to bring me down and get me off focus for what I'm about to do. I also felt a little frustrated because later in the day I found out that the lady I had asked about my funds thinks that I haven't gotten anything more in and didnt understand my question I guess. So now I dont really know if all my tuition is paid for or not. Anyway...the blessing though in my shopping trip I think came at the end. I was a little discouraged because I  went to a thrift shop trying to sell some clothes to help start getting money for my flight home and they didnt want any of what I had. But then there was this lady that came up to me with a small bag of clothes and wanted to know if I was interested in taking it. She told me that the clothes were in my size and then I took them home to find that they were a couple extra items I wanted but couldnt afford! There were other hard moments and blessings all mixed together but I just feel so overwhelmed with the love and support that I've been getting. I've been trying to get everything together and I've been just so...cant even find a word for it but having a hard time believing this is really happening. I have no idea what my new life is going to be like and I know that there are some things that I have to wait for. There is a really important relationship in my life that I'm interested in seeing how everything goes with that and yet I'm at a place where I have to let the fears go. I decided the moment I get on that plane, the past is going to be behind me. Please be looking for my posts...I'll try to do monthly updates if possible, I will attempt my other blog (probably will be updating on there more often in regards to school) and there will definitely be a lot of posts on Facebook so keep posted with me!! Love and blessings, Kallayah