Rise

Most of you have already seen my blogs about the things that I've been learning the last couple weeks. This definitely is going to be like Christian boot camp for sure. I'm not here to have fun and I realize that but its been such a good class and I'm trying to just have such an open mind to everything and anything that God wants to show me.
This week we're talking about the Pure Heart and today we were working on what the speakers call The Mother wound. It was basically about how each of us has a mother wound even if we dont realize it and that we need to heal of those things before we can really enter into a relationship that God has for us in marriage. At first I was thinking that it didnt really apply because my mom is so loving and just everything I need. But they started to say that its not necessarily about something bad, it can just be something that in your childhood mind, hurt you. So I went way back to something that happened when I was little and got healing- I really believe. :) After that was really long cause we had hiphop class and then went out for FroYo and then dinner, singing class, and then was working on the song that my friends and I wrote. We're going to try to audition tomorrow so I just hope that goes well. In my other blog I think I was talking about how there are things that I was hoping God would do in my life just in general but also especially here. Anyway, I wasn't really expecting for God to actually start working on those things and now since being here I just feel the ugly in my heart melting away. I'm learning to be confident and to open up and trust again. I've actually been singing in front of people which is something I never thought I would do. Something I wanted to share that I think I forgot to say in the other blog, is that we've been learning that a lack of trust means that there is an area in our lives that needs forgiveness towards someone cause lack of trust is the action of putting walls up and then doing so because someone hurt you in the past. It's good to be cautious of some people but not to the point where you never move out in your life. Anyway it was a good day for the most part. I think a little bit of me wants the week to be over so I can get through the heaviness of this week but it will be good. I had a weird thing happen today that I've never had--my teacher cried for me today when I lost it in our class. Like it wasn't just her comforting me, it was like her heart was broken because mine was. It was so restoring if that's a word. I'm really still struggling not to worry about things that are going on with my family at home and then also not to worry about the area of my heart but I know that God is going to take care of all these things and if nothing else proves it, just the fact that he has always been providing shows that it will work out one way or another.