On New Horizons

Hey everyone!! I know it's only been a couple days but I wanted to let you in on the latest that's been going on in my life! So some of you may know that I was needing to pay the rest of my ticket money for outreach. What happened, is the school paid the difference that I still owed and they were waiting for me to be able to pay them back so that the full amount would be turned in. Well up til yesterday, I just didnt have the funds I needed. My teacher asked me to pray about whether or not I felt I should go to outreach cause the school needed to make a decision...my teacher has really been so amazing! She has been so patient and trying her best to talk the school into waiting for me to get all the funds I need. They dont normally do that with students but yeah, yesterday was the deadline for the plane tickets. My class did a love offering though cause there were 3 of us that still needed funds, and all together we were able to raise around $6,000 just from my class!! I was about to get about $2,000 which covered the ticket amount!! I still have to have the rest (about a thousand more) by this Friday but I know that anything is possible and if God wants me to go, he will make it happen!! Today in class, my teacher asked us to think about the things we've learned since coming hear and something that we're still struggling with. I've really been learning so much while I've been here and I really can say that I know God on a whole other level. Something that I'm still struggling with is trusting God with my heart. When I say that, I'm not saying that in the context of "trust God with my whole heart" is if there is a lack of passion. It's more of trusting God to take CARE of my heart...that he will keep it safe. I think I'm really terrified because my heart has been so battered that its hard to really believe that maybe good things will be able to STAY in my life. I know that God really has the best in mind and I think the thing God has been teaching me is that sometimes it's not about knowing WHERE to go although that does seem to be a common theme in my life. Sometimes, it's about WAITING for the TIME for the direction that you may already have. I could be wrong, but I think I have a little idea of where God might want me to go after this (like right now it's not even 100% percent certain) but I think it might just be a matter of not the "where" but the "when" God would want me to move. Anyway, its been really hard trusting God to keep my heart safe. I trust him with the finances and the other things...those things aren't even really a big deal because I am absolutely confident but at the same time, I think the reason for that is I dont really feel like I have too much to risk and I know that I'll be ok one way or another. But with my heart, I could lose everything and I know for a fact that I wouldn't be ok for a long time if that was broken again. At the same time, I've heard people say things like "why would God let you be hurt like that when you're trying hard to seek His will in everything?" So I dont really know what to think other then me just trying to trust God. I think the other thing too that I'm worried about is the fact that we're not going to have much or any internet while we're gone, and I just have this thing where I want to be able to stay in contact with as many people as I can and I really dont like separation.
With getting ready to leave, there are so many things to do and lots of fundraising in between. We've been doing run-throughs and we're going to be performing next week...the first performance is going to be 20 minutes in the livestream of our worship service so remember that link I post every week? Look for that next week and you'll have a little tease for what our show will be like when we start touring soon. The only USA places we'll be are going to be LA and Vegas, so if you want to see us or are in/close to one of those areas, you'll get to see the whole thing! We're actually not allowed to post anything (videos) on facebook or other sites online so unless I send it to you directly, I cant show it to anyone. Anyway, some friends and I are working on a fundraiser video that we're going to try to post tomorrow. I would say that it's turning out really well especially since none of us really has professional training! Please continue to pray...that my heart needs will be taken care of and that I'll be able to stay in contact with all you guys. I believe that God will take care of me but sometimes it's hard not to let the enemy convince me otherwise. Thank you all for being there! Please also pray for me as I'm working on a new dance that I need to have perfect by next Thursday. Thank you guys so much, I love and miss all of you!! Blessings, Kallayah :)