I can't remember now what all I already talked about in the last blog so bear with me in cause some of it is on repeat! ;)
I think I might've mentioned but love saying...that I'm so proud of my dad for finally starting back up on running races like he used to in College. it's so amazing to see him doing something that he loves and in a lot of ways its inspiring to me because it helps me see that I really can go for the things that I love and maybe actually do well in it and who knows how far it will get me someday? I've actually been kind of struggling with "finding a new dream"-reference from the movie tangled..my old dreams were involving either being a firefighter or military guy's wife and being involved with the ministries that would go along with that..but even though I still want to make a difference in those areas of life and the friends I have that live that life style..it's not really my dream anymore. So I was trying to figure out what my dream IS..cause for a while my dream career wise was to be a fashion designer and don't get me wrong..I love fashion but I just don't picture wanting to have to come up with several hundred new ideas every month so I just don't know if that's for me. It's hard thinking of the fact that I could potentially do the same thing my whole life..which if it were the right thing, I wouldn't mind at all..in fact I'd be thrilled. Like you probably saw in a couple posts back..I've really been thinking of missions but the whole thing is weird cause I want to use my passions to make a difference in the world..but at the same time Bible translation is just not my gift..so I'm hoping I can find a ministry that can maybe also be my career..and just do that. Also I think I may have found someone that would complete that dream but only time will tell since he is about to leave for 2 years...
Along with that ^ its been getting harder as the days come closer way too fast..to when he is going to be leaving (21 days now)..and the fact that I've still not seen him in a year. I have all these thoughts of what if he doesn't want to be with me and yada yada..you know how it goes, so I've just been trying to deal with those emotions and thoughts which has been quite the challenge since my whole life..I've never known a man that wanted me for good..but ya its a trust thing with my relationship with God..and I really do trust him.
I find that its just stealing my joy in this Christmas season, and consuming all my thoughts. So I've determined that I'm just going to make things happen in my life..things to keep me busy while I wait for the turn out since there's nothing else I can do and worrying or freaking out isn't going to make anything better..just going to make me miserable. Life really is mostly about your attitude and not so much the things that happen, cause circumstances can't define you unless you let them.
Hard to believe that my grandma is going to be coming for Christmas from the Seattle area in about 2 days ish! And then my Uncle comes from Cali shortly after (Christmas Eve). Still working on figuring out what I'm going to be doing for new years but I'm going to make it a good one! Well that's all I can think of for now, have a good night!! :)
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