I was debating whether or not I'd actually post this...but I feel like in case anyone ever reads it, it could help.
Anyway..right now I think I'm letting my emotions get the best of me. Just found something on the guy I like's wall...and he was basically talking to this girl saying he wants to see her..blah blah, and then adds that she owes him something and says "jk" after. Normally i wouldn't worry about it..but now my feelings for him are way too strong compared to what they were like a year ago and so the littlest thing gets me jealous. I don't really think I have anything to worry about but I just feel frustrated cause I feel like he keeps making plans to see other people and never any time to see me. Now given the fact that most of these people live closer than I do..and also the fact that he happens to be really good friends with a lot of girls but it still frustrates me. I know that we're not really a couple and so I shouldn't let this get to me but its hard not to when we're as close as we are. I think a lot of it is I'm just getting more emotional as the day gets closer to when he leaves for like forever..especially since its already been a year since I've seen him last and I pretty much love him even though I'm trying to hold it back. I just feel like I'm always the one that has the stronger feelings and I'm always the one that gets hurt..and this is one time where its like I thought he was the one and only guy I could trust and be fine with and then I see that and now I just don't want to talk to him..was actually going to attempt finding a time for when we can get together but now I'm too mad. Anyway..I dont really know what the moral of the story is..I just wish I could be more careful with my heart and I wish that guys could communicate more what they're feeling and just be more thoughtful cause I feel really hurt and just hoping that this is just a misunderstanding.
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