Is it Worth It?!

Hi friends!!
It's been one amazing summer, and although we're coming to the last week of it, I know that there are still more incredible experiences and lessons to be learned. :)
This last week has been one of the best in a long time, and definitely really busy!!
On last Sunday, I got to meet up with a brother of mine whom I've not seen since before I went to school last year!! Some common comments I've heard from people since coming home are mainly about how talking with me is so much different since I've changed so much in the last year. So, I wasn't sure what to expect. I know that these comments aren't negative in any way, but it's still nerve wracking to know that you're going to attempt a conversation with people that you've been close to, all the while not even being the same person you were before. I've mentioned in previous posts how I'm pretty sure I've changed more in the last year and a half, than I ever remember changing in such a short time span. My time with my brother was SO so blessed and I'm truly so grateful to have been able to hear his story on what he's been up to the last two years, and to also share mine. It was so wonderful that we were both on the same page in so many areas and that we could actually understand each other. We both agreed that if we had tried to get together any earlier, it wouldn't have been the same. He spoke words into me that I really needed so badly to hear. I will save that story for another post, but it was definitely a night I wont soon forget. :)

Tuesday brought in the start of a new school year. As some of you may know, I am an assistant teacher for a daycare that I've been working at the last 8 years. Since we go with the public school system, we are just now getting back. I wasn't sure what to expect since last year I had a crazy bunch haha! This year, I hadn't even finished introducing myself when one of the little boys came up to me and gave me the biggest hug. His English was barely understandable, but just seeing how grateful and happy he was to have me as a teacher when he didn't even know me, touched me so deeply.

Wednesday was the first day of a woman's Bible study that I'm participating in this fall. I went in just hoping that God would meet me in a new way...not sure what I would learn etc. This is a little out of my comfort zone, since at my 23 years, I'm the youngest in the class with most of the ladies being around my mom's age and also because I have another church of my own. Which means I don't know most of these ladies since they're part of my parent's church. Let me tell you, God totally spoke to me so clearly that night. I honestly thought I was just going cause my mom wanted me to and I thought it would be good to be part of a Bible study group. Little did I think that God would have something personal that applies to me, even though I'm not a mother or wife yet. God continued to amaze me just in the fact that my mom wanted to treat me to Menchies (my favorite frozen yogurt place!) when it just so happened that I had been craving Menchies for the last couple months.

Thursday was the 13 year mark from when the twin towers collapsed, and left our country completely changed, never to be the same. That's when the question that I entitled this post came to mind. Is this life worth it? Are the things we face worth it at all? The fact is, for anyone that has completely surrendered their life to God, it is. But whether or not you believe, what about those hard and/or unexplainable things that pop up from time to time? How can you look around and say that everything is still worth living for? While I wish that I had all the answers and could just help everyone make sense of it all, all I know for sure is that we have a choice. I personally think that it's up to us to decide if life is going to be worth it to us or not. We can let so many things bring us down, and a lot of us have a good reason to be upset. You might have just lost a job, a loved one, or many other things big and small. But do you believe that God actually really does care about all of that? Not because he has to because maybe he's somehow obligated to you since he created you, but because he actually WANTS to?! It doesn't matter if someone looks at an issue you have and say that its not a big deal and that you're silly for stressing or being upset about it. It's important to God. I remember a time when I would've let near anything tear me apart. If one of my friends just left with no reason, I would let it bring me down for weeks. If someone didn't talk to me when I was just trying to be nice, I would think it was because something was wrong with me. The list goes on, but the crazy thing is that in the last 2 years, God has personally shown me that he really does care about me. He doesn't have to...and I always knew that, I just didn't believe it. I want to share more of this in another post as well, but I just want to say that things will only begin to shift, when we truly give it to God. Why does he let bad things happen? It could be that we're not living in God's path. It could be that God just wants to add to our story so that we can reach out to someone else who may not have survived otherwise. Or it could be just a complete attack from the enemy. More on this later, but to get the basic point out...God does allow things, yes. Everything that happens has to go through his fingers first. But the thing we so often forget, is that Him allowing something doesn't mean that he approves of it. It simply means that because he allows free will, he also allows all that goes with that. It doesn't mean that he plays favorites. He has allowed Satan to rule this world for now. God is the ultimate ruler, but for the time being, Satan has the reigns. Doesn't mean that God WANTS the horrible things that take place, to happen. I also don't think that God allows something bad just because its going to help make us stronger. That is part of it, most likely...but God is so much bigger than that. He's not the one that MAKES the bad things happen. That would go against who he is. One short personal thing I want to share before moving on, is that this year God has opened my eyes so much and revealed new things to me. He showed me that often when friends or even family leave us...it's not always our fault. Sometimes with friendships or romantic relationships, he'll try to tell us if it's something bad for us. He's not going to force us though, because he wants us to decide for ourselves. If we truly want His will, he will make it clear. But often if something toxic is allowed to go on for months or even years, it's likely that we didn't listen the times God tried to warn us.  What I saw is that no matter what you do, if someone just walks away...there really wasn't anything you could've done that would make them stay. You can make yourself dizzy thinking about all the possibilities that could've been if you just did things different. But at the end of it all, I really think that if God really has something for you, he's not going to let anything get in the way...not even your imperfections or mistakes. I can look back and say that all the friends and others that have left my life...it might've seemed like rejection at the time, but it was really God's protection. See, when we open our eyes to what God might be doing in and through the events that take place...that's when we start to realize that he is so much more a good and faithful God than we ever realized. I cant explain the horrific things that take place, but I know that God still likes to change hearts and lives and those things that seem like set backs can really be set ups to the biggest most wonderful things that we've ever witnessed.

Friday was such an incredible day cause I finally got to go to a baseball game...and not just a game, but a MARINERS game!! Again, there are so many stories within the little stories I've shared tonight, but let me just say...it was SO amazing to be able to witness a victory for my favorite baseball team!! It was an experience that I will always cherish!!

Lastly, I got to go on a beautiful hike with my family yesterday. Something that I learned is that the way we do hiking can often show little parts of ourselves. What I mean, is that for example, there would be times that I would just look down at the trail and focus on where I was going. I would barely notice the beauty around me and hardly look up to smile at the other fellow hikers. There were other times, where I would just put my sunglasses on even though there would be so much shade that I didn't need them, just because I was so fearful of what others thought. However, the times that I chose to look up and really enjoy the scenery or smile at the people that walked by me, really were the best parts of the journey. It's about really learning and growing as you go along. It's about not getting so caught up in the journey that you fail to love those who are walking it with you. It's about remembering why its important not to quit when it gets rough. With all those things I got to participate in this week, and all the things that I've learned...I really can say that yes, this life and everything in it really IS worth it!!

Be blessed my friends!
Kallayah :) 

What's the Big Deal?!

Hi friends! With it being the weekend of my birthday, Ithought I'd share some things I believe God has shown me!! ^_^
First, some may ask "What's the big deal about birthdays? It's just another day and you're another year older, so why is that special?" I used to wonder that myself and yet at the same time I really believe that birthdays should be cherished. It's the day that God wanted you to arrive on earth. I'm learning that God isn't as coincedential as we might think. He had a specific reason why he chose for Jesus to be born on the day he was. Somewhere (Matthew, Mark etc) in the Bible it talks about how at just the right time, Jesus was born. It wasn't just some day God picked out of the hat. Same for us. Why does he pick those days? What would it matter if we had been born a day sooner or even a minute later? For some reason, it falls perfectly in line with everything. We usually just think of why it woukd effect us but somehow I think it's a bigger picture than that. Did you know that numbers have special meanings? The number 8 for example, part of the meaning is "New Beginnings". The thing that's so interesting to me, is I was originally supposed to be an August baby. But clearly for those who know me well, know I'm a July baby. And the day has an "8" in it. That makes me think I wasn't supposed to be born a few days later like "planned". I might never really know this side of heaven all of the reasons as to why I was born that day, but I know it's special. I also know that each of us have beautiful stories to tell, and some already told. With each year we get to discover and then show the world more of who God is!
Some things I think he told me: Birthdays are a celebration of the life God has given. Some of us might feel that it's stupid to celebrate after the 21st...until you get to 30. And I'm not suggesting you go all out and have a huge party. I think we should celebrate in a way that's personal to us..something a little more than we'd do on any other day. It could be something as simple as cake and ice cream. The point is, I think some feel that aging is bad. Or silly...and you know what? I think the enemy might be semi influencing those thoughts because he hates life and all things joy-filled. Something I learned about two Decembers ago, is that we don't always get tomorrow. We unconsciously think we do. We think we get to live to be 85 and that anyone who lives shorter than that was robbed and that God is somehow unfair. We don't realize that 1) God didn't create or agree with death. And 2) he decides a person's life span with a bigger picture than "Let me see who I can make miserable when a loved one passes". 2 years ago I woke up thinking I was going to work and afterwards I'd go Christmas shopping with my mom. That night I was crying and shaking in shock cause my life had nearly been taken away. I just assumed I had till I was 85. I then realized that every day is a gift and each birthday only happens cause God planned it when he created me. Suddenly, life becomes a treasure. Something I'm reminded of, is how he has amazing plans for us. He cares more about our future than we could ever begin to want to! And I think he gets the biggest smile when we celebrate the life he has given. I'll have more on this later, but I hope this helps you realize how special you are, how special we all are...and that there's a reason why we're on this earth. I believe God would love to show you if he hasn't already!! :)


Blessings

Something Beautiful!! :)

Hi friends! Summer is in full swing and I am loving it! Life has held many treasured moments in the last couple months, and throughout the rest of this month, I'd like to share some of those gems. :)
God has really spoken so clearly on some things; things I thought were buried long ago as well as things that I need to be activel replacing.
     One reoccurring theme I've heard recently is that "obedience brings blessing". I must admit that before this month, I saw the word "obedience" in a negative way. I think I a child who has been disobedient and has to be disciplined-very unpleasant.
Last year after moving back home for this temporary time, I had seen how that usually when God tells us something, it will come in 2s or 3s because he likes to confirm it and he tends to repeat things that are important. Just a week ago, I got this "obedience" theme a couple times. The first time I saw this theme came through the movie "Dreamer". It's a story of a girl an her horse. Although I'd seen this movie a few times, there was a part that became new to me. In his scene, the girl's dad decided to place the horse in a claimer's race. He figured that since the horse had been severely injured, no one would want to claim it, and he thought the race would be a good training tool to finish healing tge horse. The girl is crushed and it seems that her dreams just died. Then one day when the Gil and her family are going about life as usual, her dad asks her to do a chore. When she does, she finds to her delight that her dad had bought her horse back! I believe God taught me that often when we're obedient by being faithful to the small every day things, we will be blessed. As we obey, whether its trusting God that he had a plan or simply just going to work evey day, I believe there's always a reason for why we have the things that are set before us. God showed me another way that we're nlessedin obedience-through a love story in Genesis 24.  Abraham asks his chief servant to find a wife for his son, Isaac. He proceeds to give the conditions and the servant asks how he will know if its the right woman. Apparently God had specific ideas about this because he told Abraham that he'd send an angel to guide the way. So on one hand the servant had to obey, and on the other hand Rebekah had to as well. She was just going about her day to day life. She couldn't have known when she woke up, that by the end of the day she'd be a bride. We don't know if she was in good spirits that day or if she just wanted her work day to be over. Maybe it looked like her life wa going no where but she obviously knew she needed to stay responsible with what she'd been given. Because of her faithfulness and her godly character, she got to meet her future husband that day! Read the rest of the story in the bible to see what else happens. The crazy amazing thing is that this is the only story where it's recorded that the man loved his wife deeply.
Sometimes not obeying doesn't always mean something bad will happen as a result (although if its against what honors God there are always consequences), but it does mean that we may miss out on the blessings that would've come. There are so many other stories, but basically the main point I got was: Am I being faithful with what's in front of me and doing what I know I should? Am I paying attention to the small or large blessings that come from it? Because God is our Father, he loves to surprise us. Sometimes we get so caught up in our lives or our mess that we barely notice. How do we hear His voice? Well for starters, we have to truly be his children. You can't recognize a dad's voice if he isn't your father. Also, if we're really his kids, are we staying close to his side? A kid can't her dad if they're miles away. I promise you, He wants to talk to you!! I know this has been a challenge or me and I encourage you that if something I said sticks out, ask God what He wants you to do with it! I'd love to hear your stories so feel free to message me or comment! I hope this blessed to like it did with me!
Love you all, Kallayah