Hi friends!!
It's hard to believe it's already been over a year! It wasn't planned that I'd take so much time away, but I ended up deciding that I needed some time away from social media and it's been SO good for me. :) I'm so grateful to all of you for the way you bless me; you help inspire me to become the best that I can be, and I'm sure most of you don't even realize it. <3
Over the last year, there have been many lessons learned and experiences I needed to encounter, and although it's been a rough journey, I know all those things combined were needed to help grow my character. One of the biggest things I learned, was that I had been avoiding allowing my heart to finish healing. If you've read any of my previous posts, I've shared a little about some of the pain I've faced in my life and although I thought I was doing well overall, I started realizing that I was becoming increasingly unhappy and distant from everyone. I knew that I was still bitter about some things I had gone through, but I thought that in some way by me at least admitting the anger and allowing myself to be conscious of it, that I was doing what was healthy. I couldn't figure out why I was starting to feel so much anger towards everyone else in my life; the ones I love most, people who have done nothing to hurt me. I couldn't even recognize myself anymore and though I knew something needed to change, I didn't know how. But here's the best part; I've found something that has been changing me from the inside out and has helped me find answers:
Some of you have seen me share about things I've learned from one of my favorite authors (Christa Black) in her blogs and previous books (which I will be sharing more about in the future). Welp, she wrote another book as she was going through the excruciating pain of losing a child. A little over a month ago, she posted on her social media sites that there were applications available to be part of her launch team. I decided to go for it despite the fact that I almost NEVER get chosen for things like that or win prizes, etc. haha. BUT! I got accepted within just a couple days, and one of the perks of being on a launch team, is that you get a free copy of the author's book BEFORE it even hits stores. This could not have been any more timely, and as I read the book...I'm telling you that out of ALL the books I've read that talk about healing, NONE has had such a huge impact the way this one has. Here's a little of what I discovered:
This wasn't one of those books that shows you what you should or shouldn't be doing. There's no feeling of judgment, regardless of where you are in your life, because this author KNOWS what it's like to have real issues in your life. She's honest and goes places that most people never would. As cliché as it may sound, this book has something for everyone whether you're facing pain or not. Whether you're a Christian or not. Some main things I've gotten from this book:
1). You can only GIVE what you're allowing yourself to receive; positive or negative. So, if you're not allowing yourself to be loved and if you have hatred in your heart towards YOURSELF, you're not going to be able to love others and you'll have hatred for them too.
2). When it talks about guarding your heart in the Bible, it doesn't mean that you guard yourself from pain. When you do that, you unconsciously are guarding your heart from joy. What it actually means, is that you guard your RELATIONSHIP with God, and he will in turn protect you from unhealthy things.
3). You can't heal if you're avoiding your emotions that you think are negative (anger, fear, sadness). I always thought that if you just remember verses that talk about those feelings, or if you just shift your thoughts to something else, that it means you're not letting those emotions take over. But the feelings in and of themselves aren't bad/wrong. It's what you DO as a result that can be negative. Emotions are there to tell you something needs healing inside, and you can only heal by LETTING yourself feel those, then giving them to God.
4). Our experiences create beliefs that can't be undone with words. Meaning, if you were abused in some way, for example, your brain creates the belief that it's not safe to trust anyone or let them close to you. No matter how many times someone tells you they love you, you're not going to believe it until you have an experience that is positive.
There's SO so much more to share, but in short, Christa helps us walk through healthy ways to heal and believes that although pain itself isn't the enemy, unhealed pain can destroy everything. She helps us walk through healthy and effective was to deal with the things we face, and in the end, you won't ever be the same. I've only had her book for a couple weeks and although I have a ways to go, it's changing everything for me. I share this because I hope maybe there's something YOU can get from it. I encourage you to go get her book: Heart Made Whole (by Christa Black Gifford), anywhere books are sold. You are worth it, and I promise that there will be something waiting for you in that book that will make a beautiful and huge difference in your life.
Thanks so much for reading this! It's a little all over the place, but I just had to share what this book means to me and I hope that you'll read it and find some gold in it too. :)
Blessings,
Kallayah :)
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