Spoken For

Hey friends!!

In my last post, I was sharing with you some ways that we can show love to others. I talked about how often in life, the things that we're given are for us to use, but after that we are to share those things with others so they can be blessed as well. :)
In this post, I really feel like I should share something specifically for those of my friends that are either single, or dating. The thing I'm learning, is that whether or not the topic of dating is even on our radar, it really helps to always be intentional about becoming our best selves. Not necessarily JUST for the other person, but because life is so much more than just about ourselves.

My question for us all, is WHY do we date? My opinion is that if we're just dating because we're alone, want to be loved, or just cause we're attracted to someone, we might not be ready to date yet. I think that with dating, we should at least know the person well enough that we know we see potential in the possibility in marriage, and we want to pursue that potential with them. It's not a guarantee that it will result in marriage, but it's the intention of seeking the Lord as you move forward with that person into the future. So many people think that it's good to date for experience, when really all that does is get you confused and you end up giving of yourself the part of you that should be saved for the person you marry. If you don't know them well enough to know if you see potential for something serious, then definitely try to take the time to get to know them better! I really think part of the reason so many relationships end so fast, is because we're all afraid that the other person wont be patient enough to go through the process of getting to know each other.

This may sound a little weird, given this is about love and marriage, but bear with me: I personally don't believe there is such a thing as a soul mate. Why? Because marriage is something God created just for earth, to reflect more of who he is through a husband and a wife. So, the idea that we are soul mates doesn't really work since it doesn't last into eternity. Also, the idea that God would create someone JUST for us...when I think about it, sounds kinda silly and selfish, only because that other person wasn't created only to make us happy, just like we weren't created just to marry that one person. We were created to be daughters and sons, sisters and brothers, a friend, mothers and fathers...and so many other roles. I am by no means saying that marriage isn't amazing, or that God doesn't care about who we spend the rest of our lives with. I'm sharing this, because in the past I used to think that God made someone just for me, and when you really believe thoughts like that you start to expect way too much from that person, and you get so attached that you lose your identity if they leave you either in death or by choice. We definitely are supposed to be united and love each other deeply, but if we're depending on any other person more than God, then we're going to be destroyed when their time in our life comes to a close. Something I realized was a habit of mine in past relationships, is that I depended on that other person for my happiness, to determine how loved I was, and I looked to them for my value. I really believe that in a healthy relationship, you WILL be happy (content), you WILL be loved, and you WILL be valued by them. But they shouldn't be the source that you ultimately seek those things from. If you're not looking to God first for those things, then that person is never going to be able to make you happy and you're unconsciously going to always be finding things wrong with them. I personally can understand how easy it is to look to people in our lives for those things...mostly because they are visible people that we can physically touch. With God, we just have faith pretty much and we cant visibly see or touch him. I cant tell you how much my life has changed for the better, by getting my focus off myself and others, and instead focusing on God. The reality is, we feel we can trust people more than God and we feel that we will get something more instant with people. I realized that when it came to life, I wanted to become my best self, so that someday I could make my future husband happy. And by making him happy, I would have a better marriage right? So really, my life was all about marriage and how I could find a way to be happy, loved, and valuable for the rest of my life. And I was basing most of that on what I did. So in the end, though I hated to admit it, I realized that marriage was an idol for my life and that my focus was so distorted.

I want to share with you some of the notes I've taken from one of my favorite speaker/authors who has so many profound things to say on the topic of marriage:

>> To the degree that we are honest, is the degree that we will be able to attract someone else who is also honest. If we lie about things we're interested in (or any other thing for any reason) out of fear they might not like us, that's not being honest, and it opens the door to other dishonest people to come into our life.

>>Don't crave acceptance so much that you stay with someone who isn't treating you well. So many of us would rather stay with someone who treats us poorly because they accept us, because we're so afraid of being alone.

>>Don't use the "It's not you, it's me" line ever again. If you're not interested in them, just say so. Don't use the God card

1) You are a person of great worth and potential:
Absorb that. You are designed and desired by God. You're not just some rejected person. BELIEVE this truth. God really has great plans for us. It's not up to some guy (or girl) to decide your worth. You really DO matter and God really DOES have a great plan for your life! You are someone worth a great guy or girl. You are uniquely crafted by God.

2) Remember that you're a work in progress:
God isn't finished with you yet. God is SO interested in the here and now. Salvation is so much more about what God does in our lives TODAY than it is about where we go when we die. God is interested in the process of us becoming everything he dreamed we'd be. That's what his thoughts are. You stand out on earth. The worst thing is not reaching the potential God had in mind for you. We need to step back and see that. You were the only person on earth on each of the dates you've been on. So, if it's not working out, it could be that the person that needs to change is you. And yes, sometimes the other person has issues too, but you need to be more concerned with where you are in your life. We need to be more concerned about becoming all God wants us to be, than about finding the right someone. God cares more about where our hearts are than about whether or not we find the right person. And usually, if our hearts are right with God, he will find someone who will exceed all our hopes.
Marriage lasts for earth, but who you become will be eternal.

3) The key to becoming is beginning:
The most important thing is becoming who God wants you to be, not in finding the person He has for you in marriage. The key to changing is in your relationship with God. Don't carry your guilt into a date, you are forgiven. Don't carry the rejection into the date, you are accepted and loved completely by God. You are alive spiritually, and you need to date someone who is also alive spiritually.

4) Life story tromps love story:
If you don't have a life story with the Lord that drew the two of you together, your love story wont hold you to the end. If God is in it, LET God be IN it. Let him lead your relationship. The only good way you can fall in love fast, is if you both have a REAL life story that's compatible. You both have to want Jesus more than anything and your stories should be the ultimate thing that brings you together. Unequally yoked isn't about denomination or believing in God. You need to be heading towards the same goal together. Is the person you're dating leaning his or her life towards God's will and are you as well? Your purpose will fuel your life. You need to be a part of God's story and be sure about truly being a part of it. If you meet someone and you both are in that story, your life stories can even trump your love stories and through the seasons of life and feelings of love, the life story will propel you forward. As long as you stay committed to that life story, your love story is going to be strong to the end. You need to have your own story with God, not look for a guy or girl to become part of their story. Purpose fuels everything and it will fuel who you marry and why.

~These notes are from the message: "I'm Just Not Into You" by Louie Giglio, on YouTube

I hope that these thoughts are able to bless you in some way and help shape the way you see dating and marriage, and even help you have a more fulfilling relationship, by helping you grow more in the ultimate relationship you have with God. <3
Blessings, Kallayah :)

That One Day In February...

Hey, my friends!
I hope you all have been enjoying the beginning to this amazing new year and that you were able to finish 2014 strong! So many changes have taken place in such a short amount of time, it seems impossible to think that October was the last time I shared my heart on here!

I've noticed a theme in my life since my last entry: Giving. Unfortunately, around Thanksgiving and Christmas, it seemed that I was reminded time and time again just how Unthankful and not so giving I am. Kinda sobering to have a holiday emphasize the negatives that you need to work on, huh? I came to realize that it was SO easy for me to talk about all the things I was thankful for. Even came up with a big list, but what I didn't realize is that my actions weren't going together. I was thankful in words about the different things and opportunities I had, yet with my actions I didn't take care of the gifts, friendships, and other things I had claimed to be so grateful for.  Christmas was a little better, cause God just really opened my eyes to the unpleasant things in myself, but I still kept thinking about all the things I wanted for myself, instead of how I could be giving to others. I'm not going to say that since then I am totally different, but I certainly have a more positive outlook that took a lot of patience and persistence on God's end!

I started to shift my focus from myself, and look around at all the ways that God was blessing me through the people he placed in my life. Then, I asked the question: what can I do to bless them? It sounds easy, but the challenge was to try to find personal ways to show each person what they meant to me and to actually take the time. I made handmade gifts this year which was super hard and took so much time! But my heart changed in the process because I would pray for each person while I was writing cards and making gifts. It was slowly but surely becoming more about others and God rather than myself. You've probably heard it said, that if you hear something two or three times, it could be that God is trying to get your attention with it. Well, I kept hearing the phrase that went along the lines of "Give some of what you've been given to others" The message at one of the Christmas Eve services I went to was about that same thing and that's when I knew that wasn't just an idea I came up with. It was something I was meant to apply.

Essentially, the message was saying how there are a few parts to really receiving a gift. You don't only take it, you really let it become part of who you are. Then, you're supposed to share it. We are meant to receive gifts so that we can really be blessed by them and grow through them, but a gift is never meant to just be taken and forgotten about. Each gift we have, we also get a responsibility that goes along with it; sharing it. As we share it, we are in a sense, giving it back to God as a form of worship.

I really feel like this coming year is going to be one of giving. So...why am I talking about giving exactly a week before Valentine's Day? I really firmly think that so often it seems to be a holiday that's more focused about who's in relationships. The day was originally set aside as a celebration of St. Valentine's life. It's not just for those couples that have finally found their team mate in life. It's for all of us, to really show the people we've crossed paths with, just how much they mean to us. The question for you and I to ponder, is how can we give something we've received to be a blessing to someone? It doesn't have to involve chocolate or money, although those things can make the gift a little more extravagant for sure. It could be time, it could be using something you're really good at in a way you might not have thought would matter to someone else. Anyway, these are just some thoughts I've been processing and I hope it helps you out a little bit with realizing that each thing you're given, is given for a reason. You matter, and God wants to show that the people in your life matter too...by using YOU to show them that. Love you guys!!

<3 Kallayah :)

New Things Are Coming!!

Hi Friends! Happy Autumn. :)
I really believe there are so many amazing things to come in this season of fall. Normally, I'm not much of a fall person haha. I'm a summer girl, and close after is the season of spring. However, this year it seems like God has been showing me several amazing things that fall has. There really seems to be a theme of "New Beginnings" everywhere, even though you'd normally think of Spring being the season where you associate new things being born.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just really want or need to hear a word from God, and then at just the right moment, he gives you way more than you expected? I had a day like that yesterday, and I wanted to share that with you. :)
For starters, last week had just been super busy, and although there wasn't anything specific that caused me to feel so empty, I noticed that I was feeling really run down. Just a week where you need a little extra zap of inspiration and truth. So, yesterday I headed over to my parent's church after only being able to get 3 hours of sleep (no idea why hhaha). I mainly just wanted to be there with my parents as it was going to be their new pastor's first Sunday...and since I've been looking for a church recently, I thought it'd be worth trying. I had about an hour to myself before Sunday school started, since my parents were on the worship team this week. I was looking through my iPod for a verse to look up...and as I was going to find it, the pages fell to another book that I hadn't even been thinking about. The book of Amos. I noticed that the verses my eyes were drawn to just happened to be underlined in red, and as I began to read, tears started to spring to my eyes. This is what I saw:

In that day I WILL RESTORE David's fallen tent. I will repair its broken places, RESTORE its ruins and build it as it used to be, so that they may possess the remnant of Edom and ALL the nations that bear MY name, declares the Lord WHO WILL DO THESE THINGS...
I will BRING BACK my exalted people Israel; They will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them. They will plant vineyards and drink their wine; they will make gardens and eat their fruit. I WILL PLANT Israel in their own land, NEVER AGAIN to be uprooted from the land I HAVE GIVEN them, says the Lord your God. ~Amos 9:11-15

The crazier thing, is that as I was reading this passage, there was a song playing with the words: He is hope, joy, peace, freedom RIGHT NOW. And then another song with lyrics that say how God is the one that guides our hearts  and that he is our hope and stay. Right after that passage in Amos, I found the famous Psalm 37 passage about delighting in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart and will guide your path. :)

My dad was actually the one teaching the Sunday school class this week, and God just continued poring more into me. :) It was a passage from 2 Timothy. I want to go over the lesson more in detail another time, but the main thing that stood out was how God is faithful in everything, no matter what. The message given by the new pastor was mainly about what it means to really truly be a believer versus just having the relationship title with God.

My hope in writing this, is that no matter what life looks like for you right now, whether good or bad, that you know that your life has purpose and that God really does want to talk to you and reveal things to you. That as long as you really try to give your best to live for Him, he will see the efforts rather than the results. You're going to experience such a different and incredible way of living, when you choose to take God for all that he is, rather than just the parts that are easy to understand. I've been learning so much lately, and it's so amazing to me how God CHOOSES to love us. He's not obligated to, and he really DOES care. We just need to really speak that truth over our lives. :) Be blessed, and until next time I hope you all have a great night or day whenever you read this! God is doing a new thing, believe it!! :)

Kallayah