Hi my friends!!
It's been such an incredibly long time since I've last blogged, and I'm trying to get back into it here soon! As many of you may know, from the months of April-October, I was involved with YWAM (Youth With A Mission), doing their DTS (Decipleship Training School) which is 6 months long. I'm going to try my best to update the page that I made specifically for my adventures through YWAM, but I wanted to share a special story from one of the days that I was on our dance/acting tour.
I really dont remember all the specifics, other than the fact that we were doing our second performance of the day. It already wasn't really the best of days for us since most of us were really tired, some of us were sick, and a lot of us were facing different attacks from the enemy. We knew that we'd be performing at a small theater in the local town that we were at, and we were told to expect about 100 people. It wasn't much, but it was something at least. In our minds, everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. We had next to no lighting because since it was a more modern theater, there wasn't a stage and therefore no stage lighting. There were about 30 of us performing and the room that we had to perform in was about twenty feet wide and five feet long. So you can get the picture that for a group that was dancing and acting...there really wasn't any room. The lighting that we had asked for wasn't available and the workers at the theater had to turn on the lights in the theater room since there weren't any spot lights like we had hoped and planned for. Every plan we had was falling apart. People were losing parts of their costumes because it was so dark and a lot of us had forgotten to bring our phones etc (especially since there wasn't any phone service, it just wasn't something we thought to take that day). So as you can imagine, LOTS of frustration, lots of tempers running high....it was a very stressful environment. I had thought I lost one of my costumes since a lot of us had the same exact thing. I also got a rip in one of my dresses, which weren't exactly the kinds of dresses you could easily replace. When it was about 20 minutes before and we were trying to get ready for the show...we heard that there would only be about 10 people there that night. One of the ladies that had been hosting us at the base, gave us a little pep talk and told us to remember that no matter what it looked like to us, we HAD to remember that it was really God we were performing for and that it wasn't really a matter of number of people that were there. We were freaking out a little bit because we knew that there would be some theater directors and pretty widely known (and super talented) actors coming to see us that night, and we also knew that they knew we weren't professional. Everything we had tried to do, and plan on to make things look as professional as possible, wasn't working. Right down to our costumes. That night....was our very worst performance we ever ended up having...and at the time, we were feeling really terrible because it was one of our first performances in our whole tour. Anyway, everything went wrong...the sound was off, the lighting was so dark you could barely see anything (which for any of you who have seen a peformance at a theater or know anything about theater life, you know lighting is key), our voices weren't cooperating, a lot of us messed up the dances, and the actors forgot some of their lines. It wasn't even that we were nervous, although that was a small part of it. It was mostly just that we were all having an off day, and the enemy was really getting to our minds and bodies. At the curtain call, we all bowed humbly and had been praying the whole time. But it was no use in our minds, because most of us felt so terrible for the nasty attitudes that we had towards each other, and in general...that we really didn't expect God to want to use us at all. Well, we started packing up and preparing just to go home when our school leader and base director came and told us that the famous theater director that had come...was in the other room and wanting to meet us. We slowly went out...and found a man in tears, and he was just shaking his head and told us that he had never seen anything like that in his life. He told us that it was "simply brilliant" and that he thought that the whole city needed to see our show and that he was going to try to put something similar together and get his actors and dancers to reenact the show. We were in total shock....how could something so terrible have such an influence on someone who was a professional in a field that we weren't? We all learned some huge lessons that day...one was that no matter what you do, if you think you're doing it all on your own...you're going to fail. It's when you give your very worst and most broken parts of your life to God...that he can do HUGE things through it. That's not to say that we should all go around making the biggest mistakes we can. But I wanted to share that with you guys to encourage you to remember who it is that gave you the dreams and gifts that you have. And never assume that God doesnt want the worst or the smallest things that you have to offer. Something else that I learned that kind of sounds like a no brainer...is that this world is broken. They dont care about the people that have it all together. They're not watching the most talented dancers. They're watching the people who are struggling, the people who aren't the best. They want to see if there's hope for them cause they know that if someone else who is broken can make it, so can they. Sometimes the most broken areas in our lives have the biggest influence and can be the biggest story God uses in someone's life. You never can tell what it will do in someone's heart. That's why you cant give up, and you cant ever assume the worst. I'm learning even still....a couple months after that night in the theater, to give God EVERYTHING. Dont be embarrassed because God already sent his Son to die for a freedom that we dont have to earn. I hope this story blesses you!!
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