Today... I choose to be strong

I'm just going to vent for now since I need to get some things out.
First the negatives: Several plans for today got cancelled.
Feeling like I'm losing a best friend and not sure if its even worth saving.
Also a couple things in the area of guys. I'm working my program of three (if you know me personally, you know what that means lol) but the 3 different guys keep moving around on my list. Like guy number one doesnt stay there too long, and sometimes switch out guy number 3...so thats confusing. I was hoping it would be the same couple of guys for a longer period of time and that I could get to know them and see where it would go but not so simple. One guy, I have liked for the past couple of years but nothing can happen for a while. Another guy I haven't even been able to talk to for a long time and not even sure if we're still on good terms. lol. Another guy I just met and really am just happy to become more of a friend with him. the other guy I have moved off my list and yet I have arranged to see him sometime soon and not sure why cause I thought I never wanted to see him again or at least for a while. Also keep seeing things that he posts that make me kinda overthink everything and I hate it.
So now I think I dont need to express my emotions cause as you can tell, I'm really feeling confused, frustrated, and having a hard time just enjoying the present and being patient for the future. Why does everything have to be so drawn out before it gets worked out? nooo idea.
Positives for today: Got enough sleep for once, have friends that care about me and are chatting with me, feeling better, the sun has been shining and no rain, and just lucky in several other ways. so even though its been a weird day thus far, I'm going to be ok one way or another cause I am strong. :) More updates later most likely today or tomorrow. :)

My mission part 2 ;)

So excited that its finally spring and it actually feels like it now with all the sunshine we've been havin!!
So an update on my "mission" as seen in the last post, so far in month one this is what I have accomplished: In my Music section, I have attempted learning a piano song (new one) but no such luck yet. Working on picking music for a special event; a couple of my friend's weddings. in my Fitness section, attempted the splits, and finally got to 6 pull ups and can do more. :P My health section, limited caffeine! For those who dont know me well, this was a big thing! I actually didnt vomit from being drunk, so score there if thats something to be proud of. ha :P

Not wear as dark of makeup everyday, I have a new style now! ;) My art section, I did a picture with oil paints and also drew a really complicated picture. The getting over it section, finally went all out with NO makeup in public (also a big deal for me). The no particular reason, got drunk with a girl, did a photo shoot with a good friend, and got dressed up in a public place. In the get it out of my system/cause I've always wanted to section, told someone when they hurt me, and told a guy I liked him. In the You wouldn't understand section, took pics at Ikea haha.  and for now thats it!! Going to try to give more updates...but today is sunshine which I love and did a photo shoot with my sis yesterday, also have a new job which I get to do tomorrow. :D

2 year mission

So there are about 150 + different things that I'm suppose to try throughout the year- some of which include learning Broadway Dance and at least 1 song on the piano. The piano....eh its going alright. Considering that I started this mission about 2 weeks ago I guess I'm doing pretty well although my family gets out their ear plugs whenever I start playing. Ahaha. The broadway dance I am excited about, for I have a dance dvd that teaches the hottest moves, and on top of that gives me a great workout which is another thing on my Mission list; to work out more. More updates to follow but so far so good! :)