Emotional Suicide (age 16)
Could it be that there is a
form of emotional suicide? Like you know that you aren’t going to ever kill
yourself but you do it emotionally. It seriously is just a random thought that
came to mind just now, but I think that there might be such a thing. We don’t
let ourselves cry over things that we should. We tell ourselves we’re fine and
don’t let anyone help us. We push people and God away when we’re going through
hard times. We refuse to go through hard times. I mean part of it might just be
that we are living in a time where everything is easy and everything is given
to us right away and we almost never have to work at anything so when it comes
up that we do have to work for something, we go crazy and we don’t know what to
do with ourselves. We don’t pray, we stay away from people unless we have to be
around them, and then we just snap at them or are really distant with them so
they will never know that anything is wrong. We get cut and instead of going
and seeing a doctor, and instead of letting people call 911 for us, we just lay
there in our mess, and don’t try to do anything about it. we refuse to see that
things could work out, could get better, and something that starts out as a
little problem gets larger till you really need all the help you can get to be
able to survive again. Thing is when you finally go in and the doctors help
you, you might need more help later on, maybe even therapy, but you recover and
soon it becomes only a memory and it is something that helps you through the
other bad times in your life because you know that there was a reason God
didn’t let you die, so there must be a purpose for your life. Often times
though, it seems like we refuse to believe that God can do that kind of thing,
or that he would even care to. Yeah, I’m almost sure that not every time you
get help, you notice that you’re getting better, but there will finally be a
day when you’re not the same beaten up person you used to be. You realize that
it’s time to look up before you run into something. You’re letting yourself die
when you let things hold you down and keep you from living. Whether it be the
past, fears, pain, it doesn’t matter. You might think that you can never
change, but I’ve seen addicts get over their addictions. I’ve known people who
were literally just about to kill themselves and now they are telling everyone
they .know about how real God is and what he did for them. Don’t tell me there
is no God, and don’t tell me you’re not good enough. If God thought that you
weren’t good enough, Jesus would never have died, ok? You’ve just got to let go
of the things that are holding you down, and holding you back from living. Living
the now but my mind and heart are stuck in the past, I’ve been stuck for way
too long wouldn’t you say.
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